It took me many years to write this book, and as painful as it was to revisit the past at times, it was important that I write it. It is important to me that I honor my mom. And it is important to me to show that her life was and continues to be a source of inspiration and strength. This is about my journey over the last 20 years as I came to terms with trying to make sense out of what happened. I wanted to be as honest and open as I could, and by doing so perhaps help myself and others heal. Sadly there continues to be many hurtful stigmas around mental illness, suicide, and being gay. For those of you who have walked a similar path, I hope by sharing my story that some of the shame and guilt and loneliness that feels debilitating at times, will be lessened. I want you to know you are not alone...that healing is possible. And for those who have friends or family members that share similar experiences as my story, may you have a new way of seeing them. It is my hope that we all find a deeper understanding and compassion for ourselves and for one another.

Click HERE to read the first 3 chapters of "Forgiving Troy"

REVIEWS...

"The soap sensation who played Phillip Chancellor on The Young and the Restless has written a terrific, gut-punching memoir that chronicles his triumph over an unspeakable family tragedy...Chilling, hopeful, spiritual - you'll never read anything like it" Michael Logan, TV GUIDE

"The reader is left with a feeling that even in the midst of the most tragic situations, hope abides and family triumphs. Being likened to A Beautiful Mind and Rainman, his story will both break your heart and heal your spirit." Nicholas Snow, NOTES FROM HOLLYWOOD

"It's been said that the greatest mark of the human spirit is its ability to overcome impossible personal tragedy, and no one exemplifies that statement more than actor/artist Thom Bierdz." Joe Thompson, IN MAGAZINE

"A true-life tale of love and loss, terror and triumph that will take your breath away - and play on every single emotion you own." Bill Harris, E! ENTERTAINMENT TV, NATIONAL ENQUIRER

"Millions of viewers fell in love with Thom Bierdz on The Young and the Restless unaware that his real life was more dramatic than any soap opera. This book proves he is not just another pretty face - but an artist of substance, power and talent." Daniel R. Coleridge - TV GUIDE

"Thom Bierdz's book had to be written. His gripping story of family, murder, insanity, and forgiveness leaps off the pages...horrifying...inspiring...riveting." Political activist David Mixner, author of A STRANGER AMONG FRIENDS

"Thom's book is not as much about forgiveness as it is about the kind of strength and spiritual carpentry necessary to repair the disengaging structure of one American family."
Lucian A. Truscott,-- author of DRESS GRAY

"It made me see Troy and the millions of souls like him in a gentle and forgiving way which I always thought it should be the way things are but could never articulate. It was just beautiful."
Nick Salamone --- author of ALL SOULS DAY

"Beautiful, Expressive, and Original just like one of Bierdz's paintings! A moving testimonial to the power of the human spirit." --- Jeffrey Keen - USA BOOK NEWS.COM

"Shakespearean in its tragic underpinnings, FORGIVING TROY fearlessly tackles a litany of societal ills that ostensibly seem insurmountable, yet the book reverberates with the clear ring of redemption. Author - artist - activist Thom Bierdz has dysfunction running through his veins, but just like a junkie in the process of hardcore rehabilitation, he wages a war against his demons and triumphs" Michael Kearns, IN MAGAZINE

"Bierdz has the courage to be truthful about his own erratic behavior in the aftermath of this terrible tragedy. But he came to recognize that we all have the power to control our destinies...Thom Bierdz, a proud gay man, is now one of Los Angeles' most successful and in-demand artists. His journey from darkness into the light is one of the year's most illuminating and inspirational reads...the sublime, haunting FORGIVING TROY will stay with you long after you finish reading it." David Alexander Nahmod, EXPRESSGAYNEWS.COM